How do you like your Halloween movies? Filled with bloods and bugs and creepy conspiracies involving irish people and stonehenge? Or a lighthearted family romp which might also be an allegory for gentrification?

Vampire movies. Some are good. Most suck. We watch two of em: The classic Nosferatu from 1922, directed by FW Murnau and the 2008 blockbuster Twilight directed by someone for a shitload of cash. Its our first episode! So be nice. Where you expecting genius?